Putting in my notice!

I quit!

This home maker thing is for the birds. Honestly.

It would be one thing if you cleaned the house and it stayed relatively clean, but this...this is total chaos. No. Wait. It's anarchy!

All I wanted to do was vaccuum. That's it. Even though real writers don't do it, I needed to, because it's spring and the dust bunnies are larger than usual, thanks to my two shedding dogs. So I started at the entryway of the kitchen and moved my way through the house...when suddenly, it hit me. The toddler boy, who usually follows along behind trying to hitch a ride on the vaccuum cleaner, was missing.

So were the dogs.

I shut off the vaccuum cleaner and went on a toddler hunt. As I entered the kitchen, I encoutered...footprints. Made of crumbs. And then, I spotted this:

The child had opened the pantry door and emptied an ENTIRE BOX of Cheerios on the floor. And stepped on them.

Sigh.

I lugged the %&#@!! vaccuum BACK into the kitchen and set about revaccuuming the area I'd spent fifteen minutes on just ten minutes before. (Remember: shedding dogs=lots and lots of fur.) It took me five minutes to finish getting up the cereal and the crumbs. I realized that the toddler had scurried off as I cleaned up this mess (crap!). A quick search found
that the toddler had found the closet, where the clothes hamper is kept.

I've tied him to a chair. (Kidding! He's at the store with Daddy now because Daddy realizes...when Mommy gets that look in her eye, it's best to run away. Fast.)

Please, someone...give me a job and get me out of here!