We-l-l-l-l-l...okay. I guess so.

Funny thing about taking time off from writing. It doesn't quite work.

When you have a "real" job (or--gasp!--hobby), you take time off, recharge and come back raring to go. When you write, however, you sort of fade away.

I'm still doing research for my Leonardo book. Sort of. I took a side trip into a bit of research about Henry VIII and his children, which will have NOTHING to do with my book, but...well... the book was there in the library where I got some books about the Renaissance, and I read one, then another, and another--and now I'm on a whole new track about something that does not relate to my intended project at all.

Julia Cameron, writer of The Artist's Way (among other things), calls this "filling the well". She says, (on page 21 of AW): "Filling the well involves the active pursuit of images to refresh our artistic reservoirs...In filling the well, think magic. Think delight. Think fun. Do not think duty. Do not do what you should do--spiritual sit-ups like reading a dull but recommended critical text. Do what intrigues you, explore what interests you; think mystery, not mastery."

So. There you have it. I'm having fun, exploring. But...I'm fading out of writing, too. This appears to be a dangerous thing. I could drown in my own well.

Hopefully, I'll find a life jacket along the way and tow myself back to my manuscript.

Secrets, Part 2

I had time to reflect on yesterday's blog, and I realized I left out some important things.

First, here's my secret: I keep a stash of chocolate way in the back of a cupboard in my kitchen. Behind the vitamins and boxes of herbal tea, tin cookie trays and the ceramic pumpkin we put the Halloween candy in. It's such a secret, I've even forgotten about it at times. Which isn't a bad thing. Because when I remember it, I tend to eat the whole bag. I keep it there for those times when I'm all alone and depressed, needing a little pick me up (and weigh me down). If my family knew it existed (and again, I'm relying on the fact that no one in my family reads my blog--heheheh, the fools!), they'd scarf it all down faster than I can say, "Hey! That's MY chocolate!"

Hence, that's why it's a secret.

As secrets go, it's a fairly small one. I don't think that keeping this little bit of information from my children and spouse is all that deceptive. (Unlike the woman from yesterday's blog, who hid an entire equine from her husband.) I can't even say it's all that selfish, because if it were discovered, I would share the bag. (I'd also find a new hiding place for the next bag.) In fact, since neither my spouse nor my children should be ingesting sugar and caffeine, you might even say I'm saving their lives.

Second: I suggest writers use secrets wisely. And carefully. And, most importantly, sparingly. (Sort of like I should be using adverbs. But that's another blog.) I've critiqued manuscripts, contest entries and synopsis' where the writer has used a secret as their characters' conflict or motivation.

Unless they're writing a spy novel, this "I've got a secret" thing doesn't work. (It's even worse when the writer won't even tell the secret in the synopsis. Eeek!) Because--and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way--it makes the hero or heroine just look sneaky. By the time they admit their gigantic secret to their hero/heroine, the reader has lost all respect for the story, the characters and even, the writer. Unless--wait, let me emphasize that--UNLESS they've got a really good reason for it.

Pretending to be your twin sister so that you can sleep with the hero--not a good reason.

Pretending to be of noble birth to save a man's life--good reason. *

Pretending to be someone of a specific career path (I dunno, pick one...brain surgeon will work) so that you can impress strangers and most importantly, the hero--not a good reason.

Pretending to be a waitress so that you can take a break from being a brain surgeon and not impress anybody...we-e-e-ell, that depends. Could be a good reason, IF you make the protagonist angst about the lie and even try to tell the truth; until she needs to perform emergency surgery at the bed and breakfast where she's hiding out and she saves someone's life.

In my story, Overnight Groom, my hero (JP) and heroine (Emma) are keeping a secret: They're not really married and they never eloped. The reason? Emma's Great Aunt Maisie got so excited when she heard the mistaken report that they eloped, she had a heart attack. And Emma, who used to be a nurse, knows that sometimes good news helps people heal. So she convinces JP to continue to pretend to be her husband for as long as it takes for Maisie to get well.

If only JP's brother, Father Tim, didn't keep hounding him to tell the truth... (conflict)

If only Maisie didn't keep chirping about how happy she is about Emma and JP's unexpected marriage from behind her oxygen mask...(motivation. you see, the old lady could still go at any time.)

If only there wasn't a gossip reporter hounding their every move, threatening to get to the bottom of their relationship... (What? Doesn't everyone have a gossip reporter following them?)

Anyhow, you can see that even if a secret is driving the plot, there needs to be a strong motivation to maintain that secret. Like--keeping someone alive. And, the protagonist/s will angst over the fact that s/he is, in fact, lying. Or else they'll just be sneaky and deceptive people--like the woman hiding a horse from her husband--and how heroic is that?

*See the movie, Ever After: (http://www.foxmovies.com/everafter/) There's no violence, no cursing and no embarrassing sex scenes to hide from the kids, so you can even watch it with them in the same room. Unless, of course, you're eating the chocolate you're hiding from them.

Secrets

I've got a secret.

And so do you.

We all do. Everyone. Even my dogs have secrets. (They just don't hide them very well. Look under the couch. And you can tell if it's a really secret secret, because one of them appears sheepish and slinks about apologetically.)

I heard about a really good secret the other day. One of those friend of a friend of a friend secrets--it may even be an urban legend. Anyhow, I mentioned something to a friend of mine about charging a $65 vet's fee and "Heheheheh--don't tell my husband." She told me about a vet friend of hers who met a client in a restaurant. The client rushed up, pointed to a man at the bar (who was watching a game on the television and not paying any attention to his wife) and said, "Hi Dr. Soandso--that's my husband! He doesn't know I have a horse, so--don't say anything!"

Wow. Now that's a big secret. How can you hide a horse? I have enough trouble hiding my horse's bills from my husband--I can't imagine hiding the whole horse. But this woman--the client--had been with the vet for years with her horse.

She must have been the Queen of Espionage.

Where did she hide her stinky barn boots? How did she excuse her long, daily absences, times when she went to muck and ride? What did she do with all her ribbons and trophies (assuming she showed with her horse)? Good grief--this woman had a whole other life. And her husband knew nothing. (She'd probably be really good at having an affair. Hmm. Imagine if he thought she was having an affair and hired a P.I.? All he'd get is photos of her forking up pooh, hauling waterbuckets, pushing a wheelbarrow... Can you imagine how embarrassed he and the PI might be? Shuffling their feet and saying, "Well, I guess this isn't as bad as another man..." and "I thought she smelled funky but I thought it was her shampoo..." and so on.

So the point is--what secrets do your characters have? Do they have stinky barn boots to hide? Where do they hide them? And--most importantly--WHY?

A tempting proposal

I've been doing research on Leonardo da Vinci. (Don't ask.*) Leonardo was brilliant in so many capacities--everyone agrees on that. (Except Michaelangelo, and that was mostly sour grapes. I think. I know there was a dueling murals contest going on at one point, but I haven't researched that much, yet. I just liked the idea of it. Two Renaissance men furiously trying to outpaint the other, both of them amazing; I can picture them trash talking at each other. My mural's better than your mural...Your apprentice is a weenie....Good beard, LeoNERDo, etc. )

Leonard's mural, The Battle of Anghiari, was never finished, reputedly because of technical difficulties. (See a larger version of the mural--but not a life-sized reproduction of it, unless you have a really big monitor--at : http://www.kfki.hu/~/arthp/html/l/leonardo/06anghia/index.html )

No one was surprised Leonardo didn't finish the mural, (especially not Michaelangelo), because everyone agreed: Leonardo never finished anything. He was so full of ideas, he'd start a project, then start another, and another...and never get back to the first project.

Okay. Show of hands. Who is like Leonardo?

One of the hardest things for me, as a writer, is finishing what I started. I begin, with confidence and even a little awe (this idea is so cool!) and then...begin to get a little bored. What was fun becomes work. I hit a snag, I falter, I stop.

And those pesky ideas keep coming. So much more interesting. So...snag-free. (Or, free of technical difficulties. Leonardo could relate.)

I used to feel bad about this. I think many of us do. We worry about middle muddles and BIAW's and so on, writing through the bad, yelling at ourselves to Finish the DAMN BOOK! (Oh. You can put your hands down, now. Sorry.)

Anyhow, I've decided to give myself permission--since I'm not published, not on deadline, not writing for any reason other than the fact that I cannot not write--to not finish. At least, for a few months. It's nearly summer, the kids will be out of school soon. The baby is going to start getting those teeth. I think I'll do my research on Leonardo (in different colors of ink!) and just enjoy the process of not finishing. I invite you to do the same. At least for a few months. (I can hear some of you hissing your breath through your teeth and chanting, "Get thee behind me, you devil" as you hold up index-finger crosses to your monitors. Hey, I'm sorry. I may be tempting you, but at least this particular temptation is calorie-free.)

What would you do with time spent not finishing your book? Spend some time with your kids? Your spouse? Other family members? Your friends? Your pets?

Go to the beach. Go for a walk. Go. Just--go. Enjoy. Soak up the world. Feel alive--really alive--not tied to the characters in your head, but to the people in your world.

Study. Study people. Study your favorite authors--figure out how they do what they do that makes them your favorite. Study The Bible. Study yourself. Study...Leonardo da Vinci. And most of all, enjoy it.

*Incidentally, the reason I say "don't ask" why I'm researching da Vinci--because pretty soon I'll be starting to write another book, something completely different from my usual style, and I'd rather not discuss it until I've finished it.