The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Before he lost his hearing, my dad would read jokes to the us from the Reader's Digest. Red-faced, he'd snort and giggle his way through a joke, stopping to lift his glasses and wipe away the tears streaming from his eyes. It was one of his favorite things and though we teased him about it, we all tend to do the same to our families.

And me? I'm going a step further. I'm going to blog a joke from RD. I'm not giggling or snorting, I have no glasses to lift. And the reason I'm blogging about these particular jokes is not because they're so funny (though they are) but because I just want to point out what a great form of characterization these would make, especially for a secondary character who's main function in your story would be comic relief. So here they are. Can you think of any of your own?

"Yogi-isms"
from The Reader's Digest, September 2007

Our top 10 list.
1. If you can't be on time, be early.-- Timothy Snipes
2. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.-- Vance Garnett
3. Things are cheaper when you make more money.-- Joanna Adams
4. Answer the phone -- it might be somebody.-- Michelle Blythe
5. I can't hear without my glasses.-- Jay Wollenburg
6. It will feel better when it quits hurting.-- Lynn Anderson
7. With him, the deeper you go the shallower he is.-- Bob Mason
8. It would be easier to accept you as you are if you were different.-- Vance Garnett
9. The eggs were so big, there were only nine of them to the dozen.-- tinkerbryant
10. The next new car I buy will be a used one.-- Grillthom

A Survey

Just a little brainstorming type question, for all two or three of you who actually read my blog.

You have a female vampire.

She's from this century. This millenium. In fact, she's only been a vampire for a year or so.

What do you think she could be addicted to?

Ah, writing. It's a strange thing. You suddenly have a character in your head, dictating a story to you, demanding you tell it. The character tells you: I have an addiction.

But she won't tell you what it is.

I hate that. Who do these characters think they are, anyway? They take over your brain but they don't cooperate. It's the worst sort of possession.

Almost as bad as noisy teenagers in the computer room at your local library...

Maybe she's got an addiction to teenage boys!

Um...no....I don't think so....

Ah well. Summer vacation is almost over and the kids--mine and the ones here at the library--will be going back to school soon. And thus, I hope, my writer's block will end.

But will I find out what my character is addicted to?

What do you think it might be?

If you're looking for a really good read...

...Check out Annette Blair's latest book!

SEX AND THE PSYCHIC WITCH

She could touch the past…

As the buyer for her sister’s vintage curio shop, Harmony finds her job almost unbearable, since she has the ability to read objects and learn things about their former owners—even their deepest darkest secrets. Now, a Celtic ring depicting a man’s empty embrace has led her to the Paxton castle on the coast of Salem , Massachusetts .

He needed her presence…

King Paxton has inherited a haunted money-pit of a castle. He must get rid of it before he’s cursed with the same bad luck that has plagued generations of his family. But out of nowhere, a leggy blonde plows in and quiets the disgruntled construction crew and the ghost who haunts the castle.

There, Harmony finds an angry ghost, a disgruntled renovation crew, and a man who could use a harmonic convergence…

Better, buy her other books and then buy this one when it's available at your local bookstore. (See: http://www.annetteblair.com/)

I love Annette. She is my Hope. I knew Annette when she was a slogging along, unpublished drudge like the rest of us. And then...she went to a conference and Kate Duffy requested all five (5!) of her books. (It could happen to me! Or, you!)

I still remember the look on her face when she came out of her editor meeting. Shocked. Scared. And so high with delight, it was infectious. You knew she was going to get The Call.

I also remember my feeling of "Huh?" when Annette told me she'd had an idea for a romantic comedy. You see, she's written the most wonderful historicals, and I couldn't wrap my brain around Ms. Blair with a comedic voice. Silly me. She's got the most wonderful and fun series going. They're lyric and funny, enjoyable and well-crafted. I love them.

The best part is: Annette shares her knowledge of the craft (the writing craft) without hesitation. She is so supportive of unpublished plebes (like me) that I must (must) support her in return by telling you (more unpublished plebes) to BUY HER BOOKS! TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Let's put her on the USA Today's bestseller's list and help her fly to the top (with or without a broom). Because it happened for Annette and it could happen for us, too. Pass the word and the kharma!