Teddy Explodes in Freak Laundry Accident

A teddybear exploded today in a freak laundry accident at a Cranston, Rhode Island home.

Miss Dearheart Valentine, covered in chocolate (due to previous accident in the same home) entered a pillowcase in order to take a bath with some towels.

"The bleach hurt my eyes," was all she would say, still obviously in shock after the accident.

"Fluff was everywhere!" Retched a horrified eye-witness, still covered in bear stuffing shortly after the accident. That same eyewitness was hurried away to a psychiatric ward shortly after, probably suffering from post-traumatic shock.

"#!$%!!!" said Cynthia Brayden-Thomas, operator of the washing machine in which the accident occurred. "I hate laundry. Now what?"

Despite repeated attempts to clear the stuffing from the area, much of it still remains stuck to sheets, towels and inexplicably, wedged inside a pair of girls' tights. Brayden-Thomas hopes that experts will not have to be called to remove the bulk of the fluff from inside the machines or the tights. When asked if the stuffing would affect future loads, all Brayden-Thomas would offer was, "@$#%!"

Miss DearHeart Valentine is expected to enjoy a full recovery provided she stay away from washing machines in the future.

Writer's Block

Yes, you got it. I have it. Writer's block.

To be honest, I'm not surprised. My little vacation from writing has put me into quite a funk. I don't know how to write, anymore.

And...here's a secret...you know how I call my blog Real Writer's Don't Vaccuum? Well...this writer actually does. Yes! I not only vaccuum. I dust. And, I do laundry. I like to keep my house tidy and clutter-free, actually, and if it's not that way--well, damn it, I make it that way. The problem with that is: When you have two elementary aged kids, a husband who likes to hold the remote but not much else and two dogs who don't like to hold onto their fur, then you've got messes. Add a nine-month-old who's walking (gasp! yes!) and climbing stairs and...well...

My house looks like Iraq. Only more dusty. There are no humvees, or street vendors (yet), but the effect is the same. Who exploded the bomb in here?

Overall, the mess and the dust and the clutter (and the fruit flies--did I mention them? The guinea pig invites them to share his fresh veggies every spring and summer and part of the fall. I can't get rid of them) make it really hard for this Felix Unger of a mother to write. (The fruit flies, especially. They like to walk on the monitor. ACK!! WAAUGH! ERG!)

So, I'm cleaning today. I'm even vaccuuming, followed by my little nine-month-old shadow, who helps by picking up the pieces of dust and dog hair I've missed, and popping them into his mouth for safe keeping. I hope that--if I ever get things fixed up--I can sit down and write something. Anything...

I'll start with this blog. :)

What kind of things do you do to unblock your writer's block?

Quitting the day job

After nearly ten long years, I've crawled out of my basement office and entered the light of day.

I've also entered the work force.

This is a good thing, I think. For example, I'm able to blog for the first time in...I dunno. A while. Also, I've picked up a manuscript I haven't touched in years--and decided to rework it. I now have an hour (and two fifteen minute breaks) free and all to myself, five days a week. Amazing! No children tugging at me, asking for this, that or the other thing. (Adults tugging at me, perhaps, but they are easily turned away with the phrase, "I'm at lunch!") And, if worse comes to worse, there's always the cafeteria to sit in with my pile of paper. Or even, the car.

I'm very excited. Yes, I miss my children (especially the baby, who is still nursing whenever I'm home). But it's great to be a money-earning, productive adult again.

On to my manuscript!