waahhh!

Call me paranoid. But I'm pretty certain. My children are trying to squash my career before it even gets off the ground. Even the baby's in on the act.

He won't let me put him down. Even when he's sleeping. He wakes with a squawk and a start. Then he wails. If I ignore him, he becomes frantic, screeching until my ear drums begin to swell. The worst part is--the second I pick him up, he smiles at me.

Damn! The little bugger loves me. He's actually pleased and happy--happy!--to see me. His eyes twinkle, he gurgles and stretches his little hands up to my face...ooh. You can't be mad at someone who is so delighted to see you. Even when they mess up your blog or your interview for an article, or a chapter to be revised. All you can do is hold him and wait for him to become independent...knowing deep in your heart, if you could, you'd keep him like this forever. A baby, one who needs you, one who loves you with his whole being. Because before too long, he'll be grown, too big for Mommy's arms, or her kiss. Too big for cuddles. Too big for songs and stories and rock-a-byes...

Maybe I don't mind it as much as I thought I did. Career--yeah, it might happen. But he'll grow, for sure. I think I'd best focus on what is sure, for now. Don't you?