Feng Sh**

We had a Feng Shui expert come and talk to our group (RIRW) on Saturday, addressing The Writer's Space.

She began by saying you should put your desk so that it faces the door; your back should never be to the entrance. And if you can't do that, you should angle a mirror so that you can see the goings-on in the room behind you. She also said that so many of her clients devote a tiny portion of space to their desks, putting them into a dark corner and piling clutter on top of them. If you want your work to be an important part of your life, you need to give it a prominant place in your life, remove the clutter, bring on the light (and the houseplant)!

My desk is wedged in a corner of the finished basement.

Um. You don't even need to have a BA in English to figure out THAT metaphor. My writing career is in the basement.

In fact...it's practically in the toilet, since there is one not five feet from my desk (behind a sliding panel-door). Hmmm. Feng shui? Feng sh**, I think. (Oh. Crap.)

So the task before me is to relocate my desk--if not out of the basement, at least out of the corner. There's not much I can do about the porcelain chair, unless I hire a plumber. Mostly, I should just make sure the door is closed at all times. And make sure the dog doesn't pull the roll of t.p. off the free-standing roll holder and begin biffing it around the legs of the desk.

Another thing the Feng Shui expert encouraged was to purge the space of all things with negative energy. I've tried this, but I just can't get my husband to stay outside. (I can write this, since he doesn't read my blog. He will however, read Curt Schilling's blog. Ha. Oh, all right. Only kidding. About putting my husband in the trash, not the Curt Schilling thing.)

I wonder if Curt has good Feng Shui? Perhaps that's why Bill will read his blog, and not mine.

I wonder if the infamous bloody sock has positive or negative energy? I guess it's subjective. Red Sox fan + bloody sock = good times. Yankee fan + bloody sock = 9 inning journey to Hell.

I betcha Curt's wife has a whole other energy about the sock. Something like, "Oh yeh. More $%#!ing laundry." Anyhow, that's Curt's desk/blog/career.

I'm talking about mine.

Okay. Move the desk, purge the negative objects. What else? Buy a plant. Maybe Curt will come over and help me.

Or maybe Manny will put my grill on ebay for me, and I can buy a whole new space altogether. Now that's good feng shui!