Putting in my notice!

I quit!

This home maker thing is for the birds. Honestly.

It would be one thing if you cleaned the house and it stayed relatively clean, but this...this is total chaos. No. Wait. It's anarchy!

All I wanted to do was vaccuum. That's it. Even though real writers don't do it, I needed to, because it's spring and the dust bunnies are larger than usual, thanks to my two shedding dogs. So I started at the entryway of the kitchen and moved my way through the house...when suddenly, it hit me. The toddler boy, who usually follows along behind trying to hitch a ride on the vaccuum cleaner, was missing.

So were the dogs.

I shut off the vaccuum cleaner and went on a toddler hunt. As I entered the kitchen, I encoutered...footprints. Made of crumbs. And then, I spotted this:

The child had opened the pantry door and emptied an ENTIRE BOX of Cheerios on the floor. And stepped on them.

Sigh.

I lugged the %&#@!! vaccuum BACK into the kitchen and set about revaccuuming the area I'd spent fifteen minutes on just ten minutes before. (Remember: shedding dogs=lots and lots of fur.) It took me five minutes to finish getting up the cereal and the crumbs. I realized that the toddler had scurried off as I cleaned up this mess (crap!). A quick search found
that the toddler had found the closet, where the clothes hamper is kept.

I've tied him to a chair. (Kidding! He's at the store with Daddy now because Daddy realizes...when Mommy gets that look in her eye, it's best to run away. Fast.)

Please, someone...give me a job and get me out of here!

Hot job? With...hot coffee?

I've been looking for a job. No, wait. Not a job...I'm looking for a career.

Personally, I'm feeling a bit old for this, but I'm hopeful. Enough people have told me that the 40's are the new 20. (What does that make the 20's? And what happens to people under 20? Are they in the negative numbers?) I'm thinking that people who say this haven't reached their 40's yet; there is NO way this body of mine acts 20-something after a long car ride, when I stand up and have to work the kinks out of my hips and knees.

But I digress.

My other concern about finding a career is that HotJobs.com keeps sending me jobs "related to my skills". Apparently, Hot Jobs feels my skills would best be served (so to speak) by working at a Dunkin Donuts. Now you'd think that an Associates degree in Liberal Arts, a Bachelors Degree in English (with a concentration in Secondary Education), four years' experience in the sales (oops, sorry--Admissions) department of a local technical college, and nearly seven years experience in collections and mortgage processing (that's banking, folks!) would count for more than a "career" behind the coffee counter.

Apparently not.

So I ask you...what am I doing wrong? Am I really that unmarketable in today's job market? Am I unworthy of a real career? Unskilled in anything but pouring coffee into a styrofoam cup?

And if 40 is the new 20, why do I have all this gray hair?

Stop by Dunkin Donuts and let me know--I'm easy to find. I'm the bewildered-looking, 43-year-old, twenty-something with stiff knees and aching hips.